Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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