Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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