Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
