Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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