Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
