: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
So. Much. Porn.
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