As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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