I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
