where does the pee come out of this thing
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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