I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
