All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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