is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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