She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
