This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
