Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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