hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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