And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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