Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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