Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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