"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
