I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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