i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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