i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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