yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
