Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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