I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
