It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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