Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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