Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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