It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
