Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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