fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize