This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
