I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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