I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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