Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
