There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
