I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
