So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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