we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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