We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
