I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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