I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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