I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize