so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
