Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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