Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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