I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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