i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
