I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
