quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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