she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
