Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
