Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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