I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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