Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
