In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Plan B is the new Plan A
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
